Some readers may remember ">AREVA’s unbelievably patronising nuclear waste cartoon…

‘By treating me and recycling me into MOX fuel,’ says the cute little spent fuel rod, ‘there’s less waste to watch after and for a shorter period of time too’.

We’re sorry to tell you this, but the funny little guy in the hat is lying to us. The closed-fuel cycle (the term is another piece of industry spin) isn’t as closed as he’d have us believe. It’s a bit leaky, in actual fact. The UK’s Sellafield THORP processing plant creates 180 times the volume of waste than it starts with. That’s why…

…a contract for the highly-active liquid effluent facility project at the UK's Sellafield nuclear site has been awarded to the HALEF Partnership - a consortium comprising Amec, Areva and Balfour Beatty. 

The planned highly-active liquid effluent facility will be used to store radioactive waste arising from nuclear fuel reprocessing operations at the Sellafield site. The facility will comprise a series of high integrity highly active storage tanks and associated process equipment housed in a seismically reinforced concrete building.

Highly-active liquid effluent? That’s highly radioactive and dangerous nuclear waste to you and me, but that doesn’t look as friendly in nuclear industry press releases. The waste is a cocktail of deadly ingredients such as Strontium-90, Cesium-137 and Iodine-129. Iodine-129 ‘has a half-life of 16 million years but remains dangerous for more than 160 million years’.

So when the condescending little fuel rod says the waste has to be watched ‘for a shorter period of time’ he’s lying again. How could someone so cute be so bad?